About 4 years ago I started down a journey. I self-published my first book. I was extremely excited that I did this. I actually can’t describe the exact emotion, but there were many. I’m five books into my journey- all self-published and doing well. Not amazing, but well. What followed were two more books, The House of Balestrom and Time of the Season.
I was looking back today because August will be 3 years for my second self-published novel, The House of Balestrom. I am excited about this book, because it represents so much for me. My thoughts on life and death. My mother, who passed away just shy of her 50th birthday (if you read the book you know that the men of the Balestrom family never live to see 50 years old). My fascination with religion and the paranormal. But my overall my extreme realist point of view that everything has an explanation behind it, and it is only a matter of time for that mystery to be solved.
I found an interested agent about a year and a half ago. She really liked House of Balestrom, but wanted me to work on it a bit more. I immediately started to do this. Then like a curve ball, life threw a harsh one at me. I became sick and it over took my determination to get the job done. Believe me I would have worked my body to death to finish (and to think back on it, I was probably close to death.) I’m not being dramatic, just telling the truth.
I had to get myself back together and that is no easy task. My life flipped upside down and I had to rethink how I did things. How I lived and how I saw myself. My body and mind changed. I was in a very dark place. Though you wouldn’t know it, because I learned a long time ago how to hide things. I still struggle with a lot of new things–hitting me all at once.
But I took the steps I needed. I took it slow and worked on my writing when I could. I wrote another book, Nine to Dine. I finished another one, Sirens. All while I did new edits for House of Balestrom. Now I am almost done with those edits. I feel so much better and I am trying to take care of myself along the way.
I learned that it isn’t when you finish, but going back to complete it. I might have five books self-published, two books not published (Sirens and Return to the House of Balestrom) and one day traditionally published books in the future. I just have to keep working on it.
In the light of seeing how I needed to change myself, I revamped my writing. I pulled back some of my old ways of presenting a situation in my work and taught myself how to say it differently. I found it effective. I read a lot, during my recuperation and wondered what set these other authors apart from me. I figured that it wasn’t much, it was just their time.
I can’t say I’m not a published author or novelist, because I am. I’ve been published since 2010. I write all the time. I created a product and bravely presented it to the world. I like what I write and see that others like it too. I don’t worry about criticism, because well, it’s going to happen and so what.
But I am happy that I never stopped. I slowed down, but never stopped–no matter how thick the cloud got around my head and I couldn’t focus on what was in front of me. I feel now–more than ever–that I have moved through it. I am on top of my game and I can’t wait to see where it takes me.